The Devil's Dictionary Of Financial Terms Monday, February 01, 2010 With apologies to Ambrose Bierce .... agency , n. A criminally negligent organization that purchased and securitized mortgages; a criminally negligent organization that rated mortgages and mortgage securities. The agencies were late in downgrading the Agencies. bailout , n. A notorious regressive tax; the public underwriting of stupid bets made by overpaid morons. Can you believe their bonus pool was $16 billion a year after the bailout? bail out , v. To selflessly save the global economy from depression and mass unemployment. If we hadn’t bailed out AIG, the unemployment rate would be 25% right now! bubble , n. Part of the dual mandate; the monetary policy goal of the Federal Reserve and the People’s Bank of China. carry trade , n. A financial proposition that concludes with its adherents supine, carried out on a stretcher. CDS , n. The simultaneous purchase of kindling, lighter fluid, matches, and fire i...