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What Harry really did May 6-7 (THIS IS A JOKE...)

Harry's schedule

11:23:  Landed at Heathrow Terminal 3 (American airline flight 136)

12:00:  Out of the airport in the car to Frogmore Cottage 

12:35:  Arrive at Cottage, 

13:00   Have lunch with army friends -- know they will be quiet, and they're old mates

14:30  Talk to wife and kids

15:00   Try to call father for a brief "in town will be there tomorrow, certain everything will be great and congrats" -- leave a message

1515   Go for a quiet walk 

17:30  Finish the boxes of stuff he needs to ship to California

18:00   Dinner alone early to bed


6:00  Go for a run just to get the blood pumping

9:00 Leave Frogmore cottage -- probably for the last time (leave a note for Uncle)

10:05 Arrive at Westminster Cathedral for the big day, 

10:16 Walks into the Cathedral, and notes that no one is making eye contact.  Still enjoying the day, after all, he's just a VIP spectator here, so it doesn't concern him at all.

10:35 No one is looking at him, including his aunt who is sitting just in front of him (smirking, and thinking "She's probably upset because she's not mentioned in his book)

10:40 thinks"  'Man oh man that's a big ass feather on auntie hat!

10:50  Speak with cousins, they still like him, make a few jokes and enjoy the event. Thinks: "Wow my cousin sure is pregnant"

10:55  Smiles and thinks of all the made-up BS that will be in the British press tomorrow

11:00  The show begins

13:00 The show ends

13:10 Walks out of the Cathedral and waits for his car

13:15 Get into car to the airport (got his overnight bag and everything)

14:00 Arrives at the airport Terminal 3 to catch his 15:45 flight back to the US.


The press said that Harry looked sad and depressed.  If he was, it sure was well hidden since he had a big smile and seem to make small comments to several people

Harry was disappointed with being seated on the third row.  


My imagined conversation when Harry arrived home in California

Megan:  Darling how was it?

Harry: Fine, no pressure didn't speak to anyone, not that anyone wanted to speak to me, even Aunt Anne made a point of ignoring me, and she was sitting just in front of me.

Megan:  Was she your candle

Harry:  Yep, didn't see much, but again there was not that much to see, it really was not the point.  BTW got the last of the things boxed and ready to be shipped

Megan:  Was there a lot?

Harry: More than I remembered to be honest.  Stopped at Buckingham for two minutes for a toilet break (there were no facilities in the cathedral) and left a note at the side door that 10 boxes should be sent to us and the rest put in storage.  Don't know where it will be put,  Mostly wedding gifts that I had no idea what to do with, you know the strange stuff

Megan:  Did you see there was a lip reader and got your conversation with Jack

Harry: Must of been boring he just wanted to know if I was there for the whole weekend?

Megan:  That's crazy, the palace was very clear you were only invited to the coronation

Harry:  I know, I guess the Queen has decided to add more vinegar to our relationship.  Not that I would have stayed, but they were clear, the only thing where I was welcomed was the coronation.  Nothing else.

Megan:  So is that what Jack said, 

Harry:  No he just asked when I was flying home and I told him.

Megan:  BTW darling you should have told me you were flying on a Gulfstream!

Harry: What, no it was a 777, what do you mean?

Megan:  Your favorite newspaper said you flew into Farnsborrow, they even had pictures

Harry:  Well nothing changes.  Think about it.  No one saw me, I had lunch with some army buddies and we were absolutely alone, I had dinner alone, and I was in the car alone.   They will make shit up anyway let's just ignore it. 

Megan:  How was Eugenie

Harry:  Very very pregnant, she's 8 months along.  She told me her feet were killing 

Megan:  Did you congratulate your father

Harry:  Left a message with his butler he was not around, as we discussed short and sweet.

Megan:  Did you enjoy it

Harry:  Yes and no, I was happy to be there for him, but really cannot stand the place, the backstabbing is worse than ever.  Jack told me that he was very happy that they are outside of all that thanks to his Father in law.  BTW did you see Uncle Andrew was in full dress?  Clearly what I did was worse than what he did.  Just goes to show

Megan: Let's go and see the birthday boy

Later:

Megan:  Look here in the Mail it said you were miserable!

Harry:  Right cause my smile was all fake go figure

Megan:  Hey they have you stopping in Buckingham for 30/40 minutes

Harry:  Really doing what exactly.  Only visited there like half a dozen times, you know that Grandma hated the place

Megan: It's a big mystery

Harry:  How did I spend 30 minutes there and arrive at Heathrow at 2 pm.  What's wrong with these people what do they think we can do, time travel. 

Megan:  Yeah, you know I think we should really go easy on the titles thing.

Harry: Good idea let's do that, I feel ridiculous when we are introduced with our titles here.  Let's only use titles when we absolutely have to otherwise, done.  Anyway, everyone calls us Harry and Megan.  

Megan:  What are you going to do about your brother

Harry: Nothing, there's nothing to do.  We just don't see eye to eye.  I did leave a note to Andrew at the cottage, saying I wished him happiness there.  Because we kind of loved it!

Megan: Yeah right

Harry: What do you mean

Megan:  The only reason I loved the place was that we were there together.  Most of everything else could do without.  Hey Honey it says here that you were crying on the flight

Harry:  Not funny  Megan, not funny at all.  Is there anything to eat, maybe a bit of cheese and wine, what do you think

Megan:  sure why not

end









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